


When your Sensei is a Troll but you Learned from the Best

by Pleasedial123



Series: A Series of Sexy Occurrences With Which Sakura Makes the Most of [8]
Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Sakura, F/M, Hatake Kakashi is a Troll, Not Canon Compliant, Sakura and her bigass axe, The Plot Thickens, but Sakura is learning, overprotective idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 20:33:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21124817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pleasedial123/pseuds/Pleasedial123
Summary: Sakura is neck deep in plots and schemes and now she has to drag Kakashi-sensei in with her. At least he's willing to listen to her when he finds her pinned to a tree by an S-class criminal.After he tries to kill said criminal of course. And destroys a hotel wall.  And tries to tease her which doesn't end well for him.Kisame is just enjoying the view and Itachi is having a bit of a crisis about how much he loves this woman.





	When your Sensei is a Troll but you Learned from the Best

.--.

“Hey Kitten.”

Sakura looked up and up and up. Kisame towered with a wide grin as if to remind Sakura just how tall he was. 

“Hey,” she returned, “Glad you got my note.”

“It was a bit slimy but readable,” Kisame chuckled, “Slugs, really?”

“What did you expect with Tsunade as my master?” she rolled her eyes.

He laughed and she stood, moving away from the little bench she’d found. The small town tucked in Grass Country was in the midst of summer and looked quite green and pretty. It was also solidly civilian and sharkman Kisame got a lot of wary looks. Sakura was looking more the part of city girl in an unassuming skirt and top, a little out of place in the more traditional village but not that odd. Kisame on the other hand was all shinobi even with the lack of red and black clouds. 

“I’ve got a nice little inn room if you want to chat there,” Sakura said, “But I also saw this little ramen stand down the way that looked good.”

“I could eat,” he agreed.

So she led him to the tiny ramen bar. The cook took one look at them and shakily asked what they’d like before hiding away in the back. 

“Where did you leave Itachi?” she asked as they received their food.

“He went to check on a few old Uchiha stashes. I think he’s seeing if Sasuke has been by them at all.”

“Not anywhere near Sasuke though?” she double checked.

“No. Orochimaru was spotted in Lightening country last with him.”

She nodded and ate her ramen. They were both keeping a close eye on Itachi to make sure he didn’t try and slip off after his brother. They both had the feeling he was waiting right now anyways, waiting to see if Sasuke would continue following Orochimaru or if he would finally cut ties with the sannin. 

They finished their ramen and Sakura stood, paying the bill. She stepped back out into the street and narrowly avoided smacking into some civilian teen and his friends.

“Sorry,” she smiled.

The boy, well, man really, blinked and then his face lit with a leer that made Sakura’s smile slide away.

“How much?”

“Excuse me?” she asked coldly.

“How much for a night with you, sweetie?” he leered, his friends snickering behind him.

“Not for sale,” Sakura said flatly.

“She’s taken punk. Piss off,” Kisame chuckled as he stepped out behind Sakura.

The boys, all cocky and sneering, lost all their color at the sight of Kisame and left quicker than Sakura thought they could move.

“Cunts,” Sakura snorted after them.

“Little boys trying to act like men,” he agreed, “good thing you have a real man here.”

Then he flipped her skirt.

“Hey!” Sakura growled.

He grinned, dodging her swat and did it again.

“I swear to God Kisame,” she said, “I will make you eat your own teeth.”

“Save the flirting for in bed honey!” Kisame laughed.

“A bed you won’t be sharing anytime soon,” she threatened.

“You know you love it.”

“I do not _love_ it.”

Kisame laughed but didn’t tease her anymore. He put an arm around her shoulders and steered her down the road, meandering around the edge of the village until they were near the little copse of trees that bordered the village and he could pin her up against a tree and kiss her. 

“Why did you call me by the way?” he asked into her mouth as he crowded her against a tree, arms on either side of her head to box her in. 

“Have a few people I need you to meet,” Sakura hummed nipping at his lip.

“Who?” Kisame asked huskily, eyes focused on her lips. 

Suddenly roots burst out of the ground, sharpened and honed and heading straight for Kisame’s throat. They were forced apart and Kisame leapt backwards as the tree they had been leaning against tried to kill him. 

Sakura barely even have time to react because familiar arms were wrapping around her, gently but hurriedly, and stealing her away. Kisame was dodging the suddenly murderous tree, but his eyes were sharp on Sakura’s surprised ones. There was a pause, a moment where they both realized someone had just nabbed Sakura.

Sakura didn’t even have time to reassure him before he was out of sight as she was ferried away.

“Sensei,” Sakura said, her voice deceptively calm to her own ears.

“That will keep him busy,” Kakashi said, ignoring her as he leapt through the trees.

He finally set her down on the ground, eyes darting over her carefully but quickly as if he would find injury, “Start running towards Konoha. We’ll catch up with you.”

“Sensei,” Sakura repeated.

But then Yamato appeared beside them, interrupting her again. 

“Let’s go, he won’t be held long,” Yamato said, deadly serious even as he looked Sakura over, looking for wounds. 

Overprotective idiots, she thought.

“Kakashi, Yamato,” Sakura said, low and dangerous, “_Move_.”

They finally looked at her face, surprised questions in their eye. And then Kisame was bursting through the trees, Samehade out and murder in his eyes. 

Kakashi went rolling to the right and Yamato to the left and Sakura stayed perfectly still. Samehade breezed past her, sending her hair fluttering even as he went to shred the two. The sword seemed to purr in her ear and didn’t even try to sip at her chakra. Kisame stood in front of her now, looming, sword raised and a snarl on his face.

“Piss off,” he growled.

His tone held violence, a threat all on its own, the killer intent rolling off him like a miasma. Sakura had seen him fight before, but not angrily like this. She understood why people ran in fear at the sight of him as his killer intent not even aimed at her clogged her lungs. 

Kakashi snarled, wordlessly back, gaze narrowing but pupil wide with rage. It was quite obvious that Kisame had just become an obstacle he was going to go through by any means necessary to get to Sakura. Kisame saw him as the obstacle to keep away by any means, to keep him from trying to steal Sakura away. And Sakura looked at all the overprotective idiots and resisted the urge to sigh.

“Kisame, honey-bun, sugar-pie, apple of my eye,” Sakura said aloud, grabbing Kisame by the back of his coat and yanking, “Down.”

Kisame blinked up at her, bewildered from where he now lay at her feet. Kakashi and Yamato were staring at her as well, just as bewildered. The killer intent in the air from both sides vanished like it had been an illusion.

“Sensei,” she warned as they both made an aborted move towards her, “Stay.”

Everyone paused and Sakura gave them all a raised eyebrow to see if anyone was going to disobey her. 

“Good. Now, Sensei, I’ve been looking all over Kusa for you!”

“Eh, we weren’t in Kusa,” Kakashi eye smiled, still on guard but willing to trust Sakura for now it seemed.

She saw his eyes dart down to Kisame and followed his gaze to find Kisame still laying on the ground, staring up Sakura’s skirt with a happy look. Kakashi narrowed his eyes as he realized Kisame was perving on her and when his gaze cut up to her face she just rolled her eyes, showing she did indeed know what the man was doing. Kakashi twitched but said nothing. Yamato watched this all go down without a hint of expression, eyes circling between them. 

“You should have been. That’s where Tsunade said you’d be,” Sakura said, crossing her arms.

“We may have made a detour,” Kakashi smiled.

Sakura narrowed her eyes but then snorted.

“Looking like hobos.” 

“Like civilians,” Yamato protested, face finally changing to say he was offended.

Sakura raised a brow at their dirty hems and the plain scraped yukata they wore. Then gave another look at the worn, plain straw hats they both wore to hide their faces and hair. It also looked like they had been sleeping outside for the past weeks and missed a few baths.

“Hobos.”

“Mah, Sakura, don’t disapprove of your dear Sensei like that,” Kakashi said mournfully.

Sakura snorted again but saw the tension was mostly gone. She reached down and yanked Kisame back to his feet.

“Good boy,” she told him sweetly. 

Kisame grinned at her and shouldered his sword seeing everything was under control.

“And why are you hanging out with Hoshigaki Kisame?” Kakashi asked, returning the raised brow, “My cute little student, running about with criminals.”

“He’s one of the reasons Tsunade sent me to make contact with you guys. Plans have changed,” Sakura said, serious.

Kakashi and Yamato straightened and exchanged a look.

“Let’s talk then,” Yamato nodded.

“Not until you have a bath,” Sakura wrinkled her nose, “And you change. Then we can talk like civilized people.”

Kakashi and Yamato gave in easily enough and followed them back towards town where Sakura had booked a nice private inn room. She ignored the way Kisame planted himself on her right and gave her Sensei challenging looks over her head. The inn keeper said nothing, just trembled when the shinobi crammed past him into her room. 

“You look like you could eat,” Sakura said, eyeing the lanky forms of her sensei, “If I go get food will you promise not to kill one another?”

“Cross our hearts,” Kakashi said, perking up at the promise of free food.

Sakura eyed him with a healthy dose of suspicion and considered making Kisame come with her anyways, but Kisame was already leaning back against the wall with a grin. 

“Fine. Be good,” she directed this at Kisame personally and he gave her a wide smirk.

She narrowed her eyes and stepped out of the room.

.--.

Kisame eyed the two men as Sakura shut the door behind her. The silver- haired man, even in disguise, was easy to identify as Copy-Ninja Hatake Kakashi. The other he didn’t recognize, but something about him told Kisame he was strong, at least ANBU level if not on par with Hatake. And both were apparently sensei of Sakura’s. 

The way they had immediately tried to separate her from Kisame made sense now. Seeing their student pinned to a tree by a S-class missing-nin must have given them near heart attacks. Kisame knew how much those Konoha-nin valued teamwork and teammates. 

The men were eyeing him in return and he saw the way they were subtly braced. They trusted Sakura but this seemed less like enemies facing off and more like something personal.

“If you touch Sakura,” Hatake finally smiled, eye crinkling up, “I will rip your liver out and feed it to my ninken.”

“I see where she learned how to threaten,” Kisame cackled, utterly unaffected, “And you’re a tad late with the threat. She’s a fantastic lay. In fact, I plan to fuck her again tonight and for as many nights as I can keep her pinned in a bed. She has fantastic tits and the things that woman can do with her tongue are sinful-”

.--.

Sakura came back to a hole in the wall and Yamato and Kakashi trying to murder Kisame out in the streets while Kisame cackled. She sighed and waded in to break them up so they could find a new inn.

.--.

“So,” Kakashi said, sounding lazy and nonchalant, “You and Hoshigaki Kisame eh?”

They were two days out from Konoha, tucked in a tiny little clearing that was surrounded with traps from the last war. From where he was poking the fire with a stick, Yamato paused to listen in.

“Yeah,” Sakura said, completely unembarrassed, “I’m fucking Uchiha Itachi as well if you want to know.”

There was a long stretch of silence. Kakashi seemed to go a bit pale as Tenzo dropped his stick.

“…I didn’t want to know,” Kakashi said faintly.

“Well now you do,” Sakura said, “I’ll give you five minutes to ask me any questions you want.”

“…Is this a Sasuke thing?” Kakashi asked, a cold and vicious bastard at heart.

“Well, I deserved that I guess,” Sakura said slowly.

Yamot was looking between them rapidly as if waiting for one to go at the other’s throat.

“But no, this is a I grew up and man, there are some hot guys out there,” Sakura said, “I only started fucking Itachi because he approached me first.”

There was a moment where she could see her sensei trying to wrap his head around that.

“How?” he finally whined.

“I would have thought all your porn would have helped you get this,” Sakura said, “But when two people find one another attractive they often fall into bed and-”

“No I mean how did all of this start?” Kakashi cut her off desperately. 

“Oh, well remember when I went over that cliff after the struggle with the Oto-nin and staggered back into Konoha two weeks later? Yeah me and Kisame fell together and then spent about three days in a nice little love hotel getting to really know one another. I discovered I like em big.”

She leered to make her point and watched as Kakashi curled in on himself like he was dying. This was a lot of fun. A lot less painful than she’d assumed this revelation would go. She saw why Kakashi had liked embarrassing them so much as kids now too. 

“And then we kept falling into bed together,’ Sakura said, “And then there was a… situation on a mission and Itachi and I ended up escaping together. One thing led to another and he was fucking me into a futon in a nice classy inn. Huh. I guess the beginning kind of explains our relationships. Me and Kisame have a lot of fun and wild nights like we’re always in a love hotel, and Itachi likes to keep it gentle and classy like we’re enjoying a nice inn.”

Kakashi made a noise like a dying animal and Yamato was staring at her with rapt fascination as if she was suddenly a different sort of creature. 

“I mean, they’re missing-nin so there was a lot more existential angsty drama,” Sakura flapped a hand, “But me and Tsunade figured it all out, so it’s good!”

“…the crow tattoo,” Yamato said finally.

“Ah, did Sai tattle on me?” Sakura laughed. 

She stood and pulled her shorts down and top up the barest hints to show off the traditional inked crow tattoo. 

“I think Sai thought it had to do with Sasuke, which is silly considering he doesn’t have any connection to crow summons.”

Kakashi glanced up at the tattoo and then squinted.

“Is that a seal?” he asked.

“Oh yeah!” Sakura said in realization, “You haven’t seen Kagitsume!”

“Claw?” Yamato asked just as Sakura summoned he giant war axe.

“My claws,” Sakura grinned in confirmation as she shouldered the blade.

She preened faintly in pride at having made them both gape at her.

“Izumo and Kotetsu have been giving me some good training with it when we get the chance,” Sakura said excitedly, “And I’m getting the hang of it. Kisame, the sweetheart that his is, thought I should have a weapon, and well he always calls me kitten so I thought it could be my claws.”

She realized she was practically gushing and cleared her throat, a tad embarrassed with letting her enthusiasm get the best of her. Her sensei stared but when Kakashi held out his hands she let him take her war axe with no hesitation. She was only slightly smug when he immediately bowed under the weight she had carried effortlessly. He looked over her axe with a keen eye, face unreadable. When he handed it back she sealed it up tight and waited to see if he was going to pass any sort of judgement on her.

Kakashi stared at her and she stared back.

“You’re happy,” he finally sighed, “I’m glad. I just wish you could have picked anyone other than two S-class missing-nin to be happy with.”

“Well you know me, high standards,” Sakura tried to tease.

“When I took you brats in and saw I had a cute innocent little bunch to train, I knew the day would come I’d have to make some threats,” Kakashi sighed, “Its just hard to make such threats when I can’t handily beat the offenders. And when they don’t take me seriously.”

“Kisame laughed at you?” Sakura tried for sympathetic.

“Yes,” Kakashi gave a moue of despair, “And now I know more about your sex life than I ever wanted.”

Sakura stifled the giggle and the flush that rose in equal measure. Too long in the hospital, too long under Tsunade, too long around troll Kakashi, and now too long around Kisame, and Sakura was loosing her capacity to be embarrassed but it could still catch her. Sakura was a strong woman dammit, emotionally and physically, and she was a modern woman as well who was in charge of her own sexuality, but Sakura was also a girl who loved her precious people and their opinions. Sakura was a girl who liked validation and if Kakashi had said anything against all of this, had truly been disappointed, well…it wouldn’t have stopped her but it would have hurt.

“You’ll have to explain it to me one day, without the humor,” Kakashi said, all traces of teasing finally disappearing.

“We’ll do it over a nice bottle of sake,” Sakura said, “And then you can help me when I tell Naruto.”

Kakashi winced at that idea and gave her a pained look. Naruto was going to flip his lid. He’d trust Sakura of course, even as she told him she was sleeping with people previously after his life, but he was gonna flip all the same. If just because he still saw her as innocent little Sakura. That wasn’t even mentioning her parents. Well no, actually, her parents might be easy since they didn’t keep up with ninja politics. She’d wait until this whole mess was settled before telling them though. Her father at least was going to make a stink just because he’d always promised her when she got her first real boyfriend he was going to do the whole shovel routine. The fact she’d gotten two men at the same time might throw him for a loop but he’d be more upset that Itachi and Kisame weren’t the type of men that would be phased by a civilian father’s shovel talk. 

Sakura mulled this whole thing over.

“Do you have any questions Yamato-sensei?” she finally asked her silent sensei.

Yamato stared at her with those large eerie eyes, the light making them look almost flat in the night.

“The important questions can wait until Tsunade’s debrief,” Yamato final answer, “The only question I have is if you are okay? There was no…coercion? You said you met them both during vulnerable times.”

Sakura thought of the safe hidden in the Kage’s office with sealed scrolls in it. She’d seen one with Kakashi’s name when it had been opened. She was sure there was one with Yamato’s name sitting in there as well. There had to be a reason these two were personally looking into Danzo and not just because Tsunade trusted them. She thought of the emphasis on making sure she hadn’t been pressured into anything.

“No,” Sakura smiled kindly at her sensei, “It was all consensual. Not even any mind fucks that Itachi is known for.”

Yamato stared at her for a long moment as if to read the honest on her face. And then he nodded and returned to poking the fire. Sakura went to sleep under their watchful eyes and felt…she felt settled.

.--.

Kakashi and Yamato gave their report behind fortress thick seals, while Tsunade listened over steepled fingers. The Safe was open again and there was a scroll ready to be filled and stamped and sealed. Neither of her Sensei questioned her presence as Sakura stood at Tsunade’s shoulder.

“There has been a change of plans,” Tsunade said when they finished their report, “Because Sakura, in typical Team Seven luck, had a bad string of missions that miraculously ended better than anything I could have dreamed of.”

“Kisame and Itachi,” Kakashi said, “You trust them completely then.”

“Itachi isn’t fully aware,” Tsunade said, “He must have an inkling I know about him considering what his orders were and the fact he must know Sakura would never keep this all a secret from me. But he probably thinks I will go the way of Sarutobi and let him do as he thinks he must. Kisame though, Kisame will be a boon. He has a good influence on Itachi and he’s on board with any plan we make.”

“That makes things…easier,” Kakashi said suspiciously as if waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Not easier exactly, but it gives us a few better plans,” Tsunade said leaning back in her chair, “And Sakura and I have scraped together a plan of sorts.”

“Mah. I was gone for four months,” Kakashi smiled at Sakura, “You really grew in leaps and bounds since then.”

“You know how it is,” Sakura said, “once you get tangled up in S-class missing-nin, life is never the same”

Tsunade snorted and drew a scroll close to her. 

“Sakura, your report.”

“Kisame has been introduced to Kakashi and Yamato,” Sakura said immediately, “He knows they can be trusted and are in on the plan. He agreed to wait for your go-ahead, though he does have concerns about the time-line.”

“What about it?” 

“Kisame thinks things are going to start happening faster than we had hoped. Itachi is getting…well not antsy exactly, but his gazeturn to Sasuke more frequently.”

“Then we will have to move soon,” Tsunade said seriously, “This is not a situation we can allow to happen without some control.”

“We’ll have to let Itachi confront Sasuke,” Sakura said, “He won’t back down from that. It would be best to let him in a controlled environment.”

“He probably won’t go along with that either,” Tsunade argued, “If he’s hell bent on meeting Sasuke on the field, we can at least pick the field though, and what’s happening around it.”

Sakura nodded sharply. Sakura knew of course that Uchiha Itachi was a strong man; there was nothing like weakness in him. He was a monster to be honest. And Sasuke…well Sasuke was a good shinobi, an amazing one, but he was not like his brother. Itachi was too smart, too strong, too fast to be brought down was her heartfelt belief; but Sasuke was his weakness. And Sakura…Sakura was sure he meant to die by Sasuke’s hand to atone for his sins (ordered or not). 

“I wish we had more time,” Tsunade said, a hint of frustration in her voice, “But Akatsuki won’t want to wait too long after their defection to act either. Akatsuki is at the weakest point they’ve been in a long time and they will know it. If we didn’t have to worry about goddamn Danzo this would be so much easier. And Orochimaru in that mix as well.”

“Well, Orochimaru shouldn’t be a problem when it goes off,” Sakura offered, “We’re pretty sure Itachi is waiting for Sasuke to turn on him before he makes his move.”

“Who’s to say Orochimaru hasn’t got a tighter hold on Sasuke though,” Tsunade frowned.

“I doubt it,” Sakura said, which Kakashi echoed with a nod. 

Tsunade nodded but Sakura knew her Kage needed to take everything into consideration.

“Okay,” Tsunade finally sighed, “Kakashi Yamato, we have the outline of a plan. For now it’s looking like Orochimaru’s death will be what kicks everything off. This is how it’s going to go…” 

.--.

Itachi saw her before she saw him. Sakura was a splash of color in the moonlight, her hair practically glowing. She wore his kimono, the one he’d gifted to her so many months ago. She looked resplendent and Itachi just stood and watched her for the longest time. 

When he made his presence known, her head darted up, eyes narrowed. The expression of wariness melted away at the sight of him and she smiled softly, her lips brilliant red. 

“Itachi,” she said, and his name bolstered him.

She said his name so sweetly, as if he wasn't dripping with the blood of his family, as if he wasn’t a criminal, wasn’t a murderer. Her eyes shone when they landed on him, glowing with happiness. Even after all this time he was not quite used to it. She looked at him as if her were a normal man, flayed him and found him just what she wanted. 

“Sakura,” he breathed, her name slipping from his mouth like a prayer.

Sakura embraced him, pressing into him and warming him. Itachi tried not to cling to her. For everything he’d done in this world, he did not deserve happiness. Did not deserve anything as beautiful as Sakura. And yet in a moment of weakness he had let himself want so badly he had reached out and taken. He’d plucked her in a slip of control and even after he had regretted getting too close he found he couldn’t let go. 

Itachi had done a lot he was sorry for, a lot he knew would never earn him forgiveness. But…but…but Itachi had also done some good things in his life he desperately wanted to believe. Saving Konoha, saving Sasuke, even befriending Kisame. These were things he could not claim were shadowed. He would do any of those again and again and again if given the choice. 

Maybe he didn’t deserve Sakura but he wanted her and he found he couldn’t let go. And maybe…just maybe that was okay. To just have her for this brief time, it was enough.

“Come on,” Sakura said, “I found a hot spring.”

He followed her blindly, willing to go anywhere she led when she held him so softly. 

She had indeed found a spring hidden away in the rocks and Itachi needed no prompting to slip out of his clothes and watch her shed her kimono. In the moonlight she looked like a fairy-tale, the rich silk sliding down her body almost slowly before she was draping herself with water. He followed her into the water and kissed her when she sighed so prettily. She kissed him back and the soft delicate fairy tale was replaced with calloused hands on his cheeks and rough lips pressed to his own and a coiled body pushing against him. 

She was still so lovely like this, so very alive, and it grounded him more than ethereal images of her in the moonlight. Sakura was too real, too strong, too there to let his rose-glass fantasy continue. 

Itachi clung to her because she was real. 

‘I’m going to die,’ he wanted to tell her.

‘I’m going to let Sasuke kill me,’ he wanted to mouth into her throat.

‘I’m going to end this story,’ he wanted to say.

‘Please love me even when I’m gone,’ he wanted to beg her on his knees. 

He didn’t say any of this. Instead he worshiped her, his mouth and hands pressing himself into every inch of her. When she gasped and arched against him as he pushed into her he felt hot desperation take him. She simply moaned, legs wrapping around his hips and letting him fuck her slowly into the rocks. And when he faltered, breath short she pinned him down and rode him indolently, hair ever so bright in the moonlight and her callouses rough as she pressed them over his heart. 

Itachi never wanted to let go.

.--.


End file.
